The TV show Glee just beat out The Big Bang Theory for best comedy on the Golden Globes. I'm pissed. At least Jim Parsons won best actor in a comedy. He plays Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory, and I love him. He is my ideal man. He would be perfect. Most contact between us would occur via text message. When together, he would only want to talk about things like Star Wars and math. Condescension and judgement wouldn't be merely tolerated, it would be mandatory. 10:00 pm bedtime would be strictly observed. But I digress.
I hate Glee. It's high school kids singing old hair band songs. I'm not a whole lot older than the kids in the show. However, thanks to my parents and older sister, I had a top-notch education in reading, writing, and rock and roll. The first CD I ever bought was Queen's greatest hits. I danced my final ballet solo to Show Me the Way, by Styx. The number one preset radio station in my car is a Classic Rock station. With my adoration of academics and my insistence on following rules, it's no wonder kids in high school hated me. This basic anti-popularity was a staple in my life. I was a dancer, I participated in theatre, and I liked oldies, yet breaking into a tribute to Journey didn't EVER win me friends. I resent the implication that kids, who know nothing about the nature of oldies, simply have to sing PG versions of songs from the Rocky Horror Picture Show and suddenly they are cool. When I was in high school, if I talked about doing "the time warp," or mentioned Tim Curry in lingerie, not only would my comments fall on deaf ears, they would exacerbate my ostracism.
I also hate Twilight. I've never been a fan of the legacy of vampires. However, I do respect that vampires have a long history, blending myth and fact to create a genre of sensual darkness. Twilight is about angst-y, hormonal teens, who sparkle and refuse to have sex. And now a whole generation of kids think that's what a vampire is. If you ask me, that description of chastity and uncertainty epitomizes exactly what vampires are NOT. In addition, I think the idea of housewives mooning over teens kissing each other is nothing short of creepy.
I also hate Adam Sandler. I don't think he is funny. When he was younger, he was cute and had a nice bod, but he's never been funny. Don't get me wrong, I am 100% behind a clever penis joke, but I cannot stand gratuitous mention of genitalia in the name of non-humor.
Marijuana. I can't stand it. I hate stoned people. I hate people who idolize the culture of pot. A good friend of mine once made a really good point: if I put up posters all over my room featuring non-descript beer cans and "I love liquor" slogans, as well as being incapable of relaxing without a drink, I would be called an alcoholic and shunned. Yet people who have pictures of pot leaves and creepy posters of optical illusions displayed everywhere are revered. I don't harbor this hatred over ignorance. I went to college and survived (sometimes I don't know how) through various phases. However, I know that marijuana makes people stupid and boring. As if people need to be even slower than they already are! How is it fun to inhale foul-tasting smoke, eat 4000 calories, zone out and be incapable of responding to questions, and then go to sleep? I'll never understand.
This rampage all began because Glee beat The Big Bang Theory at The Golden Globes. There are many other facets of society that enrage me. I expect that I will write more about these objections in the future. I think it's evident that I have pent-up anger directed toward humanity. But really, can you blame me? When I rule my own planet, things will be better, and NO ONE will be allowed to cover any songs from the postional-themed trifecta of Kansas, Boston, or Journey.
I refuse to watch Glee on principle. I HAVE, however, been forced to watch the Twilight crap (I take no responsibility other than I chose to sit at Girls Weekend with everyone to be polite instead of reading outside alone while they all watched and drooled like ishy old men over teenage nekkid boys). I loathe that a fool with horrid writing skills and no ability or desire to research has managed to impart her religious philsosophy on a whole genre of monsters.
ReplyDeleteJK Rowling and HP, however, is a totally different thing.
I've enjoyed some of the music on Glee. I used to be in choir and austinaires in highschool so I can sort of relate to singing some really cool music. But "best comedy"?? Hardly.
ReplyDeleteAs for, when you rule the world.... my exhusband has a great saying: The world would be a great place if it weren't for the people.